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Sometimes people with schizophrenia tell me that they have a hard time with small talk. However, people can get better at small talk through learning more about it and practicing it.<\/p>\n
Starting a conversation-Icebreakers<\/p>\n
\u201cIcebreakers\u201d are questions (or comments) that get a conversation started. They can be very specific if you know the person, like \u201cHow\u2019s the new apartment?\u201d or \u201cDid you have fun at Jon\u2019s bar-b-que?\u201d You can ask any question about the person or their lives, or a general question, as long as it\u2019s appropriate (see below).<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t know the person, you may want to ask a more general question. Here are some examples:<\/p>\n
Use follow-up comments\/questions to keep the conversation going–make a statement about the topic or ask questions about the topic. An example would be:<\/p>\n
Natalie<\/span>: \u201cHi, nice to meet you. I\u2019m Natalie. So, what do you think of the weather these days?\u201d <\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cI\u2019m so sick of winter!\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cWhat\u2019s the worst part of winter for you?\u201d<\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cFeeling stuck inside. I like to get out and go for walks and play Frisbee, but it\u2019s impossible when it\u2019s so cold.\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cI agree. I walk my dog every morning, and sometimes it\u2019s really hard to motivate myself to go.\u201d<\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cWhat kind of dog do you have?\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cShe\u2019s a lab mix. Her name is Molly. She\u2019s super sweet, but she gets hyper if she doesn\u2019t get walked every day.\u201d<\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cI love dogs. When I was a kid I had a Basset Hound named Harvey. He was never hyper, haha. It was hard to even get him to go for a walk. But he was still so awesome, he was super mellow. I wish I could get another dog.\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cWhy can\u2019t you get one?\u201d<\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cI can\u2019t really afford one right now. Plus my roommate is allergic to dogs.\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cOh, dang, that sucks. But you\u2019re right, dogs are expensive. Molly got an ear infection once and seeing the vet plus medications was like $200, it was so expensive.\u201d<\/p>\n Isaac<\/span>: \u201cWow. Well, I gotta head out. It was nice talking to you, maybe I\u2019ll see you again soon. Take care.\u201d<\/p>\n Natalie<\/span>: \u201cGood talking to you too. Bye.\u201d\n<\/p>\n As you read the conversation, notice how Natalie starts the conversation with an introduction and a general question about the weather. Then when Natalie says something about walking her dog in the cold weather, Isaac changes the subject to dogs. Since Natalie had just mentioned her dog, this is a good way to change the subject.<\/p>\n Starting a conversation-appropriate topics<\/b><\/p>\n Appropriate Topics for anyone<\/p>\n It’s important in small talk conversations to talk about topics that everyone is comfortable with. Below is a list of general topics that most people will be comfortable talking about, no matter how well you know each other.<\/p>\n \n In the conversation between Natalie and Isaac above, they talked about two of these topics, weather and pets.<\/p>\n Topics to Avoid<\/p>\n Some topics aren’t appropriate for small talk, or will make people uncomfortable or upset. Try to avoid talking about these things during small talk conversations. Some of these topics are:<\/p>\n \n Good friends and family members<\/p>\n The better you know someone, the more subjects that are appropriate during small talk. The list above is good for anyone, someone you don\u2019t know or someone you do know. But if you do know someone, there are a few more topics you can talk about. Some of these are:<\/p>\n \n Partners, very best friends, very close family members, and your mental health providers<\/p>\n For the people you are closest to, there are a few more topics you can talk about:<\/p>\n \n Remember, small talk is a skill that can be learned. Practice. Ask someone you trust if they are willing to chat with you, and then ask afterward if they have any advice or ideas for how you could do better. A lot of people feel awkward during small talk, not just people with schizophrenia disorders.<\/p>\n Check the blog out for Small Talk Part 2: Keeping the conversation going<\/a>, on how to show you\u2019re interested in a conversation, and for tips on concluding one, Small Talk Part 3: Ending a conversation<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Sometimes people with schizophrenia tell me that they have a hard time with small talk. However, people can get better at small talk through learning more about it and practicing it. Starting a conversation-Icebreakers \u201cIcebreakers\u201d are questions (or comments) that get a conversation started. They can be very specific if you know the person, like … Continue reading “Small Talk 1: Getting started and knowing what to talk about”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coping-skills","category-schizophrenia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=260"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":283,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/260\/revisions\/283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drlisacowley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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